Meet Chris

My credentials? Well, I have forty-two hard years on my back. I’ve held jobs in careers ranging from Dancer to Drummer to Dominant. I built my first business at 12 years old and have owned and operated some manner of company every day since. My longest business venture is 22 years old as I write this, has served over 15-Million people around the world.

In my life to date I have had the honor of being the trusted confidant for nearly everyone I’ve ever known on a personal level. I’m the guy you know who can help handle whatever crisis comes your way. I don’t always have the solution, but I’m never without some manner of insight or resources to bring to bear to help. I’m the guy you call when you’re pregnant and terrified. I’m the guy you call for the things 911 can’t do. I’m the guy you call when he’s drunk again and you want him out, and never coming back. I’m the guy you call when you can’t go home, because you’ll kill them if you see them right now. I’m the last resort before someone goes to jail.

In owning a company for so long I’ve had every manner of uncomfortable conversation you can imagine. I know how to fire a friend, how to handle the guy smoking pot in his office, how to tell someone they have BO so bad they could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon, and how to talk someone down from killing themselves. I can (and regularly do) any one of those, then do three rounds with an insufferable customer, and then eat lunch with a smile.

I have been in front of a microphone or a camera as part of my job since I was 15 years old. I was the squeaky-voiced kid on WBYW 89.9 back in the early 90’s for those of you that may remember that. I have performed on stage or screen as everything from a drummer, DJ, singer, lecturer to even a magician. Take a look at the pics on my Facebook and you’ll see a lifetime of working with crowds of all ages. On a normal day I will give a demonstration for a group of fifty 3rd graders and then a talk to a group of crusty old farts, and I can switch gears in the blink of an eye and be age (and situation) appropriate to each audience with ease. I can play legos with kindergarteners and swear with the ironworkers, teaching everything from electrical design to sex-ed and never miss a beat. I can deliver genius on demand and know when someone needs a gentle hug or a boot in the ass.

Those are my credentials. I can stand and deliver.